night one

O had a long afternoon nap which is so rare for him...he wasn't going to make it till bedtime, so at about 4:30 I put him down to sleep...and he didn't wake until about 6:15!!!  Since I had planned to start sleep training tonight, this was a definite set back as the plan called for bedtime routine starting at 6:15 :(
Well, O is used to bedtime around 7:30, so I thought I would still go ahead with that and we can change his bedtime over the next few days.  Sure enough, after some play and a bit of dinner, he was tired and ready to go down for the night.  I explained to O what we were going to do, that tonight was going to be different and challenging but that I knew he and I could do it!  He may not (probably not) have understood a lick of what I said, but it was important to none the less convey what was going to change, I think I needed to hear myself say it out loud too.  I had a lot of anxiety about this endeavor and I wanted to reiterate why it was so important to make these changes.
The very definition of O's name means 'young fighter', so I knew it was going to be no easy task, and I had prepared myself by writing in bold some mantras so I could keep my own resolve.  O has both J and I to thank for his natural stubbornness...we are both Taurus in the zodiak!!
After the usual bedtime routine, it was time to start the new way O was going to fall asleep, without nursing.  I did nurse him as part of the bedtime routine, but he was 100% used to falling asleep on the breast. I nursed him one last time, and as his eyes fluttered, I pulled him off the breast.  Of course, he woke right up and was ready to play!  I put him in his crib to 'unwind' as they suggest, and after almost 15 minutes you could tell he was getting tired and frustrated. So I cuddled him, which he fought, then put him on the bed and he played around for another 20 minutes. He would periodically lay down, and I would think - Oh my, he's going to do it! He's going to just fall asleep!  Ya right, not a chance.  Then he started intermittently crying, probably because he was so tired by this point!  Usually he falls asleep (nursing) in 10 minutes...this was going on an hour!  After not being able to soothe him by cuddles or any other means, I nursed O again.  Again with the fluttery eyes, again pulled him off. Again more crying - this time heightened and panicky...again with the nurse, again pulling him off, more crying...you get the picture.  So then I decided absolutely no more nursing.  He was so close to falling asleep and I knew at this point he would just keep getting more frustrated by occasionally nursing (but I did it because he was inconsolable and I just wanted him to have a moment to breathe and calm down). Because holding him wasn't working (or bouncing, or rocking), I decided to leave the bedroom and walk him around.  This worked. He calmed down and rested his head on my shoulder, and after only a few more bouts of crying, he fell asleep.  I know he's not supposed to fall asleep in my arms, but hey, at least he didn't fall asleep nursing.  A major victory in my books!  I put the now zonked O into his crib and he didn't stir for another two hours.  Maybe this is doable.